No Longer Missing
by Xaja Silversheen
Summary: As promised, a collection of one-shots based off of my story, "Missing". Alternate endings, epilogues, outtakes... You name it! Varying genres and ratings.
1. Jabba

**DISCLAIMER: *evil cackle* Mwahahaha! I now have the One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges, and now own Star Wars! Go me! *Qui-Gon blinds me with his lightsabre and runs off with the Ring* Ahh! My eyes! All I see is green!**

**I don't own Star Wars. Sob.**

**As promised, here is the collection of one-shots, epilogues, alternate endings, etc from "Missing"! These will be in no particular order, so I apologize in advance for the randomness of this. If you haven't read "Missing", these will make no sense. So go read that story first. (And leave a review, while you're at it.) **

**I'm also thinking about a multi-chapter fic about Zara being reacquainted with the rest of her family, but that might just turn into another one-shot from here. Let me know what you think of that!**

**This one mentions what happens to Jabba.**

************** **

The ship touched down on a planet, far in the Outer Rim. Tatooine, the pilot had said. Jabba didn't really care what the planet was called. He'd just been far more concerned with finding a planet that had no Republic influence.

He left the ship, wincing as the bright sunlight assailed his beady dark eyes. Sand blew across the landing platform, stinging his skin. The few guards who had escaped with him stood close, guarding him against any potential enemies.

Jabba looked around. He could already see buildings that he could take over and use as his headquarters. From what he'd heard about Tatooine, it would be a good place to set up business. There was lots of slave trade that came through here, so there would be no shortage of incoming business. But it wasn't the same as the lush jungles and spice mines of Ylesia.

Curse the Jedi who had brought this upon him! He'd heard that one had killed his father, and another had murdered his uncle in cold blood. He wasn't on his home planet, and it was all the fault of those damn Jedi 'peacekeepers'! Why couldn't those two human Masters have just stayed dead? How could the empire he was supposed to inherit be brought to its knees by the capture of two pathetic human children?

Throwing his head back, he roared his anger at the Jedi to the sky. He would have his revenge against those damn Jedi, if it was the last thing he did.

***********

**And that's the first in a series of... however many one-shots I come up with! They'll come as I think of them and type them. PM me with any particular one-shots you'd like to see me do, and I'll do what I can to write them out for ya! I might put a poll up with various different options as well...**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xaja**


	2. A Nightmare

**DISCLAIMER: *jumps Qui-Gon and takes the Ring* Ha! My One Ring of Unlimited Copyright- *Obi-Wan tackles me and runs off* ACK!**

**I don't own Star Wars. *sigh***

**As promised, here is the collection of one-shots, epilogues, alternate endings, etc from "Missing"! These will be in no particular order, so I apologize in advance for the randomness of this. If you haven't read "Missing", these will make no sense. So go read that story first. (And leave a review, while you're at it.) **

**I'm also thinking about a multi-chapter fic about Zara being reacquainted with the rest of her family, but that might just turn into another one-shot from here. Let me know what you think of that!**

**This particular one-shot takes place a couple of months after the rescue. Cin-Zara centric. **

************** **

"NO!"

Cin Drallig's eyes flew open as the screams resonated throughout the apartment, fear spiking in his veins. Moving on instinct, he had grabbed his lightsabre and was running into his Padawan's bedroom before his brain had quite caught on to what his body was doing.

"No, don't take me! Master, help me!" The screams had intensified in the moments since he'd woken up. Not bothering to turn on the lights in Zara's room, Cin ran to the side of her bed. She was tangled in her blankets, thrashing in the throes of a nightmare. She was still screaming, her Force presence radiating panic. "MASTER! NO!"

Dropping his lightsabre beside the bed, Cin took her shoulders and shook her. "Zara, wake up! I'm right here!"

The girl's eyes flew open as she sat up, breathing hard. As soon as she recognized the man leaning over her, she flung herself forward, burying her face in Cin's sleep tunic. Sobs shook her shoulders as she cried out her fear.

"Shh, you're all right. It was just a dream, they can't hurt you." Cin wrapped his arms around Zara, pulling her close to his chest. "I've got you, I'm not going to let anything touch you. You're safe, Zara. Shh..." Shifting slightly on the bed, he pulled his tiny Padawan onto his lap and rocked her back and forth, all the while murmuring words of comforting nonsense to her.

Her shields had collapsed, exposing her terror to him. Cin could see fragments of the nightmare through their bond as the images raced through her mind again, leaving a redoubled fear in their wake. He didn't want to admit how much the nightmare had scared him as well as Zara. This had been one of the worst nightmares she'd had since being rescued from Nar Shaddaa. Normally she wasn't this scared after one.

Eventually, she'd calmed down enough to quit sobbing, although she was still trembling with fear. She kept her arms around Cin, scared to let go of him. "M-Master?"

"Shh." Cin cuddled her close. "I'm right here, I'm not leaving you." He knew Zara just needed him to be close after a dream like that. The fact that she promptly pressed her face as tightly as she could against his chest reinforced that fact. "That sounded like a bad one," he said quietly as he continued to gently rock her back and forth. He leaned back against the wall, knowing he'd be here for a while. He didn't complain though- he'd stay as long as he needed until he was sure Zara could be left alone.

Zara nodded shakily. "They... they were hurting me, and then... they... they killed you, Master, and then they were hurting me again and they were gonna-"

Cin didn't need the Force to tell him that she was on the verge of hysteria. "Shh. They didn't kill me, and we got you out before they could do anything else to you. Everything's fine now. It was just a dream. They can't come back to hurt you again." He brushed a hand through her red hair, kissing the top of her head. "It was just a dream, Padawan. Shh..."

Burying her face even more into his tunic and knotting her hands in the fabric, Zara huddled closer to him. Cin sent a wave of love and comfort to his Padawan, feeling her slowly calm down. An idea came to him. "Do you want me to make some hot cocoa for you?"

Her face still in his chest, Zara shakily nodded. Cin sighed when he realized she hadn't loosened her grip on his tunic at all. Carefully shifting her weight in his arms, he picked her up, grateful that she was still so small and could be easily carried.

In the living area, he gently set her on the couch, turning on every light he could reach as he did. "I'll just be in the kitchen, Padawan, right where you can see me. I'm not far away."

Nodding, Zara finally released her death-grip on him. Lightly patting her knee, Cin stood up and moved to the kitchen, turning on a few more lights as he did. It didn't take him long to make two steaming mugs of hot cocoa, normally his Padawan's favourite drink, and return to the couch where he had left Zara, but by the time he returned to her she was holding a cushion to her chest, tears silently streaming down her face.

Setting the mugs on the table in front of the couch, Cin sat beside her, wrapping an arm tightly around her shoulders. "You all right?" He could have kicked himself immediately after asking that- of course she wasn't all right. Any fool could see that!

Zara shrugged, leaning against him. "Why am I still having nightmares? Why'm I so scared of people who died weeks ago? Jedi aren't supposed to be like this, they're supposed to be stronger than this!"

Cin wrapped his other arm around her, pulling her back into his lap. "No Jedi could come through a situation like what you experienced and not be traumatized by it. I expect that even a Master on the Council would be mentally wounded after something like this. I know even Master Windu was shocked by how badly you and Obi-Wan were hurt, and he's seen a lot of bad things happen. There is no reason to be ashamed of what happened to you."

Zara seemed to think about that for a bit longer, before nodding and cuddling close to him, trying to be as close as she physically could be. Giving her a squeeze around the shoulders, Cin reached out his hand. He couldn't quite reach the table, so he used his impressive control of the Force to bring a mug of still-warm cocoa to his Padawan. "It's still warm. It might help you sleep better."

Zara sipped the warm liquid. "It's good, Master. Thank you... for everything." She leaned her back against his chest, drink in hand.

Cin called his own drink to him with the Force as he rested against the back of the couch. "Anytime, Padawan." He gave her another light squeeze, dropping another kiss in her hair. "I'll always be here for you if you need me."

"Mmm." Zara rolled over and sleepily snuggled close to him, resting her forehead in the crook of his neck. She was emotionally drained, and it was exhausting her body. Her mug appeared dangerously close to falling out of her hand, so Cin quickly rescued it, setting it on the floor beside him. As an afterthought, he set his own mug down as well. "So tired, Master..."

"I know, little one. Go to sleep, all right?" Cin drapped his arms over her slender body.

"Mmm, 'kay." Zara's eyes closed, seemingly of their own accord. One hand moved up to rest on Cin's chest. "Love you, Master."

"I love you too, Padawan." Cin kissed her cheek, reaching up and taking her hand in his. "Sleep."

With a soft, contented sigh, Zara slipped back into the world of dreams. Cin remained awake for a while longer though, gazing at her. He hadn't realized how much she meant to him until he nearly lost her on Ylesia, and he vowed he would never come so close to losing her again. He knew he wouldn't be able to stand it if something happened to her.

Letting his eyes drift closed, he eventually joined his Padawan in the realm of slumber.

*****************

**Whatcha think? Please review! Thanks for reading!**

**Xaja**


	3. Alternate Ending 1

**DISCLAIMER: *swats Obi-Wan and retakes the Ring* Haha! My One Ring Of Unlimited Copyright Privileges is mine! All mine! *Cin Drallig bodychecks me and takes the Ring* CRAP!**

**I don't own Star Wars. Grr.**

**This one's an alternate ending, character death. Prepare to bawl.**

**************** **

Qui-Gon cried out in horror as the guard took aim at Obi-Wan's chest. He stretched out his hand, using the Force to knock the guard's blaster away...

But he wasn't fast enough. The bolt burned a hole into Obi-Wan's chest, making the boy jerk violently. The teen's eyes rolled up as he gasped in agony.

Rage clouded Qui-Gon's vision. He activated his lightsabre, the green blade slicing into the guard's abdomen. The man fell with a deathly gurgle as the Jedi dropped to his knees beside his Padawan.

"Obi-Wan! C'mon, answer me, Padawan. Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon's hands covered the bleeding wound in his apprentice's chest, trying to keep the teen alive. "Please, Obi-Wan, just hang on. We'll get you out of here."

Obi-Wan's cerulean eyes focused on Qui-Gon. The boy weakly raised a hand, trying to touch his Master's face. "M-Master..."

"Yes, I'm here." Qui-Gon removed his robe, covering the wound with it. "Hang on, you'll be all right. Don't die on me!"

"Sleepy..." Obi-Wan's head rested on the dirty concrete floor. "Dark..."

"No, Padawan! Stay with me! I can't lose you!" Tears were beginning to blur Qui-Gon's vision. "You'll be fine, but I need you to hold on!"

Obi-Wan managed to focus on his Master one final time. "Love... you..."

Qui-Gon paused in his ministrations. A logical part of him insisted that there was nothing he could do to save his Padawan's life. "I love you too, Obi-Wan. I'm so sorry..."

Obi-Wan's mouth twisted into a weak smile. He tried to say something to Qui-Gon, but only blood dribbled out of his mouth. One final breath escaped the dried, cracked lips...

And Jedi Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi passed into the Force, leaving his Master behind to cry out his grief.

Qui-Gon only moved when he felt Dooku grab his shoulder. "Qui-Gon, move! He's not going to feel anything. We need to get out of here!" Nearby, Cin had grabbed a severely-wounded Zara and was running for the exit, following Kit Fisto.

"Can't... I can't leave him..." Qui-Gon held Obi-Wan's dead body close to his chest.

"Then bring him with you," snapped Dooku. "But we need to get out of here, now!"

Qui-Gon gathered Obi-Wan into his arms, still wrapped in the too-large cloak, before following his former Master out of the warehouse. He was still in a daze- everything around him was a blur. All he could see was his Padawan's face, marred by cuts and bruises. _Those will need tending to._ He nearly kicked himself after thinking that- Obi-Wan wouldn't need help anymore.

He numbly felt Mace directing him to a sleep couch to set Obi-Wan down. He carefully laid his apprentice's slender frame out, making sure his limbs were all aligned. _Don't need him getting cramps from-_ He shook his head.

"Qui-Gon." Mace stood above him, gently tugging on his arm. "He'll be fine. He isn't suffering anymore." The Councillor's dark eyes were filled with tears for his friend's grief. "He doesn't need you to care for him anymore. Come rest."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "No. I need to stay."

"He's not going to be hurt if you leave him, Qui-Gon. He's in the Force now."

"I can't leave him!" Qui-Gon held on to his Padawan's hand. "I won't!"

He struggled as hard as he could against Mace and Dooku when the two Masters pulled him away from Obi-Wan. He might have made contact with one of his fists to Mace's abdomen, but the Councillor didn't show it. The two managed to pull him away into a separate area of the ship. Cin didn't glance up from Zara, although the present Jedi could feel his heart breaking for Obi-Wan through the Force. Qui-Gon had only one last glance at his Padawan before Knight Aerdna pulled a sheet over the teen's face, at the same time that Mace shut the door leading to the sick bay of the ship.

Dooku wrapped his arms around his former Padawan as Qui-Gon wept. "I'm sorry, Qui-Gon." Dooku's hands rubbed a soothing pattern on the younger Jedi's back. "I'm so sorry."

"What's going on?" Garen ran up. "What's happened to Obi-Wan and Zara?"

None of the three Masters answered the teen. Dorlea glanced up sharply from where she had been assisting Kit with the flight coordinates, her face revealing her horror. Kit was watching as well, his Force signature first radiating confusion, than shock, than grief.

Garen translated the silence from the other Jedi correctly. "No! Obi-Wan!" He made a bolt for the door, but was caught by Mace's arm. "No!"

The Councillor was hard-put to keep the grief-stricken teen away from the medic bay. "I'm sorry, Garen. He's not going to feel anything anymore. He's not hurting."

"But what about us?" whispered Garen as he fell to his knees. "No, Obi. No!"

Qui-Gon kept his face buried in Dooku's shoulder, mentally echoing Garen's cry as he wept. _What about me?_

************

Zara wearily blinked as she came around. Force, but everything hurt... Her mood lightened when she caught sight of her Master sitting on the edge of her bed. "Master?" Why did he look so sad? He looked like he'd been crying.

Cin touched the side of her face, a sad smile on his lips. "Hey, Zara. How are you feeling?"

"Sore." Zara looked around. They were the only two occupants of the room. "Where's Obi-Wan?"

Cin hesitated. "He... he didn't make it, Padawan. He's in the Force now."

"No," whispered Zara, denying her friend's death. "No!"

"I'm sorry, Zara." Cin reached down and held her close to him, his own breath hitching with suppressed grief. "I'm sorry."

Zara cried herself back to sleep.

************

Five days after the partially-successful rescue, Obi-Wan Kenobi was burned on the funeral pyre. Among the many Jedi in attendance, Qui-Gon Jinn stood beside the pyre, hood drawn over his face to hide his tears. Zara Taerich rested in a hoverchair beside her Master, in too much shock to weep. Garen Muln stood behind his own Master, not caring who saw his tears cried for his best friend. Mace Windu stood with the rest of the Council, grief weighing down on his shoulders. Master Yoda stood beside him, mourning the bright, well-loved student. Master Dooku stood beside Qui-Gon, lending what support he could to his former apprentice. Even Dorlea Taerich was in attendance, standing near the back of the crowd.

When the flames died down and the crowd of mourning Jedi had dispersed, Qui-Gon remained where he was. Kneeling beside the pile of ashes, he placed his hand over where Obi-Wan's heart had been. "I'm sorry, Padawan. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. Forgive me, Obi-Wan."

A hand tentatively tapped his shoulder. Dooku, who had returned when he realized Qui-Gon hadn't left the pyre, pointed out the window. "Look, Qui-Gon."

The mourning Master looked out the window into the Coruscant skyline. What he saw took his breath away. A light rain was falling outside, a rare enough occurrence for Coruscant's automatically controlled weather system. But that wasn't what surprised Qui-Gon.

A rainbow was stretched between two buildings, the vibrant colours standing out against the dull greys of the city buildings. Even as Qui-Gon watched, a second rainbow appeared below the first, echoing the brilliant colours of the first.

Dooku smiled. "He heard you, Qui-Gon. He's forgiven you."

Qui-Gon didn't bother trying to stop the tears that streamed down his face. He walked up to the window, pressing his hand against the glass as he stared at the rainbow. He could almost sense Obi-Wan in the Force, could hear the boy's voice whispering, _I've already forgiven you, Master. I'll always be here._

_Thank you, Obi-Wan. I was proud to call you my Padawan._ Qui-Gon brushed at the tears on his face and tried to smile. _I'll see you again someday._

He could have sworn he heard Obi-Wan laugh before the teen faded back into the Force, one of millions of souls in that universal power. Qui-Gon turned back to Dooku, finally at peace with himself. "He's not hurting anymore."

Dooku smiled. "Let's get you home, Padawan."

Qui-Gon nodded and let the older Master lead him away from the funeral pyre into the future.

************

**I bawled writing this... *sniffs* I hate character death-fics so much, yet... this one wanted to be written!**

**Oh yeah, and before I forget, there's a new poll up on my profile, with various options for one-shots you guys want posted here. The 'character death' option is still valid if you want me to find a way to kill Zara or another Jedi...**

**Please review! Thanks!**

**Xaja**


	4. Scars Remain

**DISCLAIMER: *glomps Cin and retakes the Ring* Ha! My One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges! Yes! *Garen Muln swats me and steals the Ring* Argh! No!**

**I don't own Star Wars. *sulks***

**By the way, sorry for making everyone cry with the last chapter! I bawled too writing that, if it makes you feel better!**

**This one's Cin-Zara centric again.**

************** **

She knew vanity was discouraged among the Jedi. It lead to pride, which evidently lead to the dark side. But she was a teen girl- she was allowed to be self-conscious about her looks.

Her formally pretty looks, now marred by scars across the right side of her face.

Zara reached up, lightly running her fingertips over the pink scars over her cheek. The worst were centred around where the bones in her face had broken almost four months ago, although there were more on her forehead and chin. Those ones the healers said would eventually fade. It was the ones on her cheek that most worried her.

She knew she had no right to complain. Obi-Wan had been suffering through physical therapy on his arm after the sling had been removed. The other teen complained the therapy hurt worse than the actual wound at times. Zara had seen Obi-Wan in therapy once, and had nearly cried when she sensed her friend's pain through the Force. Master Jinn had sat with him the entire time, trying to ease the pain although there wasn't much he could do.

Scars on her face weren't such a big deal. Or at least, that's what she was supposed to think.

"What, are you afraid you're going to forget what you look like if you leave the mirror?" Cin came to the 'fresher door, leaning on the wall. His eyes twinkled with gentle amusement as he observed his Padawan. Normally, the gentle teasing would be enough to make Zara laugh, although today...

"I wish I could forget what I look like," she muttered.

Cin looked hard at her, his amusement fading into seriousness. "What's wrong?"

"This is!" Zara gestured irritably at her reflection in the mirror. "These hideous scars!"

"Zara...." Cin hesitated, obviously not knowing what to say. "You know the healers think the scars will fade away."

"Not these ones!" Zara turned back to the mirror, looking at the deep scars on her cheek. "These won't fade. I'll never look the same way again!"

"Padawan, you know what the Order thinks about vanity-"

"This isn't just about vanity!" Zara took a deep, shaky breath. "Everywhere I go now, people stop and stare at the scars on my face. No one sees me, they just see these horrible, ugly scars. Even in the Temple, the first thing people see is my scars. They all look at me like I'm some kind of monster and I hate it! Even you, I know you look at the scars a lot! No one sees me as a normal girl, or even a normal Jedi anymore! All people see is scars, and they either feel sorry for me or avoid me entirely!" Losing control over the tears of frustration, Zara tried to brush past her Master and leave the 'fresher, only to feel his strong arms encircle her and pull her to his chest. She struggled to make him let go for a few minutes before giving up, resting her head on his shoulder and letting her angry tears flow out.

Cin held her for several minutes, letting her release her pent-up emotions, before gently pulling her back to look him in the eye. "Is this what all this is about? People treating you differently because of some scars?"

Shame flooded her heart that she would be so upset over such a trivial manner. Zara glanced down and away from Cin's penetrating gaze, shrugging. She was surprised when Cin hugged her again. "I'm sorry, Padawan."

"Why're you sorry? This isn't your fault," mumbled Zara into his tunic.

"I should have known you wouldn't be upset over something like vanity. Is it everyone who's treating you strange or just some people?"

Zara shrugged. "Most of 'em, Master. Even in the Council chambers last week while they were determining whether I could return to active duty, I noticed Master Gallia and Master Poof were staring at my scars, and Master Biliba too."

"Does... does it really look like I'm staring at your scars, Padawan?"

Zara hesitated. "Sometimes. I mean, some days you seem to be able to ignore them and treat me like normal, and others... it's like it's all you can focus on, and then you start thinking about Nar Shaddaa again and... It's hard enough having to live with this on my face, always reminding me of those weeks of hell whenever I look in a mirror, but when you start thinking about it too it just..."

"Shh." Cin held her close, running a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry, Zara. I... I guess I'm just not used to the scars yet." He pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against Zara's brow and staring her in the eyes. "In time, I'll quit seeing them. So will the rest of the people who know you. And as for the rest... I don't know what to say about that. I can only hope that the scars will fade away."

"Yeah, I guess." Zara looked down, away from her Master's stare. "It just hurts now..."

Cin's fingertips gently traced the outlines of the scars. "It will hurt for a while, Padawan. People will look at you strangely, because they're not used to seeing these scars." He brushed a kiss over the scars. "But it will get better. Either the scars will heal, or people will just get used to them. And eventually, even the hurtful comments and reactions you get now won't hurt as badly." He placed another kiss on her forehead. "Honest."

Zara managed to smile at Cin. "Thank you, Master." She reached forward and tightly embraced him, burying her face in his neck.

Cin gave her a tight squeeze. "Any time, Padawan." Draping an arm over Zara's shoulders, he led her out of the 'fresher. "Care for a sparring match?"

Zara nodded. "Sure. Maybe I'll even be able to hit you this time!"

Cin laughed. "One of these days, Zara."

Zara couldn't help but smile. Cin might not know it, but his words had done more to help her than he knew. She impulsively gave him another hug as they were getting ready to head out of the apartment, feeling him return it, even if he didn't quite know what she was hugging him for.

She would get over the scars, even if she had to live with the reminder of her suffering for the rest of her life. As long as she had Cin to help her, everything would be all right.

*************

**Not bad, considering I wrote this at 1 a.m. I'm actually quite proud of it. :) It's a really good thing I don't have classes tomorrow...**

**New story up! Nanashi-Angel and I are collaborating on "Castaway". You should check it out. Because I said so. :)**

**Quick question: Would people be interested in seeing a crossover with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon in Middle Earth or Narnia? I just want opinions right now...**

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**Xaja**


	5. Zara Songfic

**DISCLAIMER: *trips Garen and retakes the Ring* A-HA! I have it! My One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges! *is thunk'd on the head by Kit Fisto, who takes the Ring* ARGH!**

**I don't own Star Wars.**

**Sorry guys, it's another death fic, although it's Zara this time. It's also a songfic to "Lucy", done by Skillet (BEST BAND EVER!). All I've done with the lyrics is swap "Lucy" for "Zara". Let me know what you think! I'll try to post a happier one-shot later. (When I'm not supposed to be working on that book report...)**

**Ren Ankh: Thanks so much for all the reviews you've been leaving! Wow, Chapter Two made you cry? I wonder if you've read Chapter Three yet... ;) You rock for reviewing!**

*************** **

_Hey Zara, I remember your name_

_I left a dozen roses on your grave today_

_I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away_

_I just came to talk for a while_

_I got some things I need to say_

"Hey, Padawan." Cin knelt in front of the humble marker, showing where Zara's ashes had been spread two weeks ago. He set his bundle of Alderaanian roses down in front of the stone marker. "I hope you still like roses. I found your favourites."

He paused for a moment, resting his hand on the cold stone. His fingers traced the inscription on the stone, giving Zara's name, date of birth and date of death. Underneath was carved one simple rose. _Roses were her favourite flowers._

He settled back, sitting cross-legged in front of the marker. "I hope you're free in the Force now, Zara. I hope you're not hurting... hurting the way I am." He forced himself to hold back the tears that sprang to his eyes. "If you'll still listen to your failure of a Master, can I talk to you? I need someone who'll listen, and no one else will."

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her_

_I'd give up all the world to see _

_That little piece of heaven lookin' back at me_

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her_

_But I gotta live with the choices I've made_

_And I can't live with myself today._

"... I'm sorry, Zara." After half an hour of talking to his Padawan's grave, Cin's cheeks were wet with tears. "I've failed you." He looked down at the roses strewn on the grass in front of him. "If I could ask the Force for anything, I'd have you alive and in my arms right now. But I don't deserve it, after failing to protect you. Forget that; I didn't deserve you while you were alive, Padawan. I wish I could have you back, more than anything. I should have been the one who died instead of you." His voice broke as he held on to the marker, finally allowing himself to cry for his dead apprentice. "I'm so sorry."

_Hey Zara, I remembered your birthday_

_They said it'd bring some closure to say your name_

_I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance_

_But all I've got are these roses to give_

_And they can't help me make amends_

"You'd be twenty years old today, Zara." Cin knelt in front of the grave, cradling a small rosebush in his hands. "I should be taking you to one of the pubs in Lower Coruscant to celebrate your coming of age, instead of talking to your gravestone." He sighed heavily, his shoulders slumped from old grief. Despite Zara having died almost six years ago, the wound in Cin's heart was still raw and bled easily.

"I did bring you something, though." He started scooping out a hole in the soil with his hand, big enough to hold the roots of the rosebush he'd brought. "You always did love white roses. I hope you like this." He carefully planted the bush in the hole, patting down the dirt over the roots. "It looks like that one you saw on Alderaan once, remember? The one you said was possibly the most beautiful plant you'd ever seen. It looks a little scraggly right now, but it'll grow up to be as beautiful as you were."

He sighed again, remembering his other reason for coming to visit Zara's grave. "Yoda wants me to take on a new Padawan. He said it'll help me heal from your death." He looked at the shrub, his fingers stroking one pale bud. "I don't know, Zara. You were something special, as everyone admits. Even Yoda acknowledged that you could never be replaced. But he says that I'm still wallowing in grief over you- and I think he might be right. Even Obi-Wan's gotten over your death, as far as I know. I mean, he still misses you, but I don't think he wakes up almost every night from nightmares."

Cin reached around the rosebush and touched the stone marker. "The worst of it is, I think the Force is pushing me to one Youngling in particular. Her name's Serra. I think you would have gotten along great with her. Since Yoda says you're in the Force now, I guess you have a hand in this..." He touched his forehead to the granite, fighting a new wave of tears. "But I don't know if that's true. Shouldn't I be able to feel you in the Force if you're there? Please Zara, let me know you're there and listening, please." His shoulders shook with sobs as he continued to grieve for Zara.

When he glanced up a few minutes later, he gasped when he realized the rosebud he'd been touching earlier was blooming, white petals glimmering softly in the shadows caused by the leaves. Cin reverently touched the flower, new tears of joy on his face. "Thank you, Padawan."

He could have sworn as he left that he felt laughter come from the long-dead bond in his mind.

_Here we are, now you're in my arms_

_I never wanted anything so bad_

_Here we are, for a brand new start_

_Living the life that we could've had_

He desperately moved against Skywalker, only to realize he was half a second too slow. He would have screamed as the lightsabre blade sliced into his chest, but only gurgled as his lungs gave out on him.

He fell to the ground, trying his hardest to shout through the Force for Kichan to run. But he didn't think his fledgling bond with his new apprentice was strong enough to carry the warning. He glanced up to see a good-sized shrub above him, white roses stained with his blood.

The last thought that came to mind before the Force took him was, _I'm under Zara's rosebush. I'm dying on Zara's grave..._

Then everything faded into a white light.

_Me and Zara walking hand in hand_

_Me and Zara, never wanna end_

_Just another moment in your eyes_

_I'll see you in another life in heaven_

_Where we never say goodbye_

He blinked as he entered the light of the Force. All he could see was white, everywhere he looked. He supposed that the brightness should have made his eyes ache, but he found that nothing hurt, even his chest where he'd been sliced in half.

As his eyes adjusted, he could see shapes moving around. Mace Windu raised a hand in acknowledgement, and... Force, was that Qui-Gon Jinn, standing beside Dooku? And Serra, waving from over there?

Joy not felt for over twenty years surged in Cin's heart. He looked around, seeking one certain little red-head...

"Master!"

_Here we are, now you're in my arms_

_Here we are for a brand new start_

_Got to live with the choices I've made_

_And I can't live with myself today_

Cin wept new tears of happiness as he swung Zara up into his arms, holding her as if their lives depended on it. "Oh, Zara..." He kissed her face, moving from hair to forehead to cheek. "Padawan..."

For her part, Zara clung to him as tightly as she could. "Master, I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, little one. Oh Zara, I'm so sorry..." Cin's grip on her tightened. "I'm sorry for everything."

"There's nothing to be sorry for." Zara pulled away from him, lightly holding his face in her hands. She looked happy, and much healthier than the starved, beaten shell that had burned on the pyre all those years ago. "If anything, I need to thank you."

Cin was startled. "Thank me? For what?"

Zara smiled, before taking Cin's hand and leading him to a large shrub. She picked one white rose off of the bush and held it up to him, whispering, "You remembered my roses."

Cin gently took the rose in his fingers, breathing in the light scent. He reached out for Zara, holding her close to his chest, feeling her wrap her arms around him. She stretched up, kissing his cheek. "We have eternity together now, Cin. We'll never be separated from each other again."

Cin squeezed her. "Don't ever leave me again, Padawan."

"Never, Master." Zara rested her head against Cin's heart. "We'll never have to say goodbye."

_Hey Zara, I remember your name._

*************

**I cry so much during character death fics... Why do I do this to myself? Oh yeah, I got bit by a Skillet-obsessed plot bunny. *sighs***

**Speaking of Skillet songfics, there's a new poll on my profile. Check it out!**

**Thanks for reading! Please review!**

**Xaja**


	6. Nighttime Vigil

**DISCLAIMER: *tackles Kit and takes the Ring* Finally! My One Ring of Unlimited- *Frodo Baggins trips Xaja and takes the Ring* HEY! Damn Hobbit.**

**Me no own Star Wars. Me also have no grammar after getting two hours of sleep last night. Me not happy about that.**

**Finally, an Obi-Qui centric drabble-ish epilogue! Hopefully no one will cry during this one...**

**Ren Ankh: Well, everyone is entitled to an opinion! I personally think Obi-Wan is amazing, but whatever. *shrugs* Does this song exist with Zara's name in it? No. The original song is "Lucy", done by Skillet (BEST BAND EVER!) from their new album "Awake". Check it out. And check out the rest of their songs, while you're at it!**

************** **

You've been home in the Temple for over two months now, yet you still bear scars from your two-week nightmare. Physically, you are close to what you were before you were abducted. Your arm was deemed 'healed' last week, although you still continue therapy. You were already slight to begin with, but you are now thinner than you were. If I look, I can still see your ribs underneath the healing scars on your abdomen.

If one ignores the scars that can be seen marring your skin and the stiffness of your arm, you would appear to be physically healed. But I know better.

Your eyes are haunted with grim memories of your captivity. The dark shadows under your eyes betray the many sleepless nights. You still fear to be alone in the dark and hate to be away from me for longer than a few minutes. You jump at sudden noises, such as a Youngling dropping a training 'sabre. The bolts from the training droids make you flinch.

I don't know what hells you went through, Padawan. But my heart cries every time I see a physical or emotional scar left behind from your ordeal. I also fear to be away from you, not wishing to let you out of my sight again.

I sit on the edge of your bed, watching you sleep. You do not stir as I seat myself, for which I am grateful. You don't sleep enough as it is. Rationally, I know that you are safe here, in the Temple, surrounded by thousands of Jedi. But my instinct as your surrogate father is too strong to just entrust you to the Temple security force. I failed to protect you on Ylesia, Padawan. My heart demands that I keep watch over you.

Your brow furrows as yet another terror from your memories comes forth to frighten you. You whimper slightly, twisting and turning in your sheets, trying to escape whatever plagues your sleep. I lean forward, brushing my hand across your forehead. "Shh. Easy, Obi-Wan. You're safe. Nothing can harm you."

I think you must have heard me. You relax into your pillow, the lines in your brow easing. My hand remains where it is, though.

Master Cin tells me that Zara is suffering as much as you are, Padawan. Indeed, I sometimes feel the disturbance in the Force when she wakes up screaming from nightmares. Cin confesses that neither of them have slept well since before this ordeal started. We know what they're feeling, do we not, my young apprentice? Even if you do not wake both of us from nightmares, I will be awoken by images playing in my mind, images of you dying in my arms. Those scare me worse than the actual memories of rescuing you.

You start to moan again, the bed sheet clenched in your fist. I run my hand through your hair again, but it does not calm you this time. My heart lurches within my chest as you whisper, "Master, no! Please, Master. Help me! No..."

"I'm right here, Obi-Wan," I murmur into your ear. I touch our bond, using the Force to reassure you of my presence and your safety. I can sense the vaguest images of the nightmare through the bond, and I know you are reliving the memory of Cin and I running to the Hutt's ship, trying to rescue you.

As you calm down again, I lower my head in grief. If only Cin and I had run faster! You would not have had to suffer as much as you did, and you would have been safe much sooner. But what is done is in the past and cannot be changed. And I know you do not hold me accountable- or at least, not that you say to my face. I often wonder if you secretly, within the depths of your heart, blame me for not rescuing you sooner.

I shake my head, willing that thought out of my head. You wouldn't do that, Obi-Wan. You've said as much to me; that you know I was doing everything I could in my power to save you, and vehemently argued against me every time I said otherwise, that I should have done more.

My own weariness tugs at me, pulling me to bed. I hope that the rest of your night will be spared of trouble, Padawan. I slowly stand up, giving your hand a light squeeze as I rise. I think I'm imagining it, but it feels like you're returning the squeeze.

I can't resist bending down and dropping a fatherly kiss in your hair. "Sleep well, my Obi-Wan." I whisper. I finally tear myself away from you and toward my own bed.

This will not be the last time I keep a late vigil over your bed, Padawan. But I don't complain. I'd do it for years if I had to, for you. Anything to help you heal. I may have failed you on the mission, but I can do my part to help you recover.

*************

**Considering I am running on two hours' sleep today, I think this turned out okay. Please note: Insomnia is highly over-rated. And so are caffeine addictions, particularly when one is trying to sleep just as the coffee is FINALLY kicking in. *scowls***

**Anywho, please review! I'll see if I can get some more one-shots out soon-ish! Thanks for reading.**

**(For those of you who liked the last one-shot, I did another songfic by Skillet. This one is "Monster", and I think it warrants you checking it out. Because I said so, and you should trust me on matters like this.) ;)**

**Xaja**


	7. Early Rescue

**DISCLAIMER: *jumps Frodo and snatches the Ring* Haha! My One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges, which lets me own everything you recognize and everything you don't! Hahahaha! *is smacked upside the head by Maedhros Feanorion, who runs off with the Ring* What the- Damn Elf!**

**I don't own Star Wars. Or any Middle-Earth residents. But I am proud to say I actually am running on a decent amount of sleep today! Go me!**

**Apologies to RoMythe, for whom I should be beta-ing. And also to Nanashi. I should be writing more of Castaway... But certain alt-ending plot bunnies bite. Hard. *ruefully rubs bite marks on backside* I think it's related to the rabbit from Monty Python...**

**(Person Without A Name From Chapter 4): I'm so sorry I forgot to reply to your review earlier! *is ashamed* I am glad you're enjoying this though! I enjoy writing Cin and Zara, what can I say? *blushes* Aww, thanks! I'm glad you approve of the crossover idea!**

**Ren Ankh: *blushes* Thank you so much! And I hope you enjoyed results of said recommendation! Skillet RAWKS! (I should do a songfic for Savior, or maybe Hero... Hmm...) Thanks for reviewing Monster, I'm glad you enjoyed that one! :)**

*******************

The guards were dragging Obi-Wan and Zara onto a ship, obviously preparing to flee the mines and the wrath of the Jedi. Obi-Wan was kicking out at the guards as much as he could, but the effect of his flailing wasn't very much.

Qui-Gon sprinted with everything he had to reach the ship before the doors could shut. He was aware of Cin and Mace running beside him, desperation lending their feet speed. Zara's screams seemed to drive Cin to an even greater speed as he ran toward the transport and the captive Padawans.

The Force screamed at him to hurry. Qui-Gon felt the flutterings of fear within his chest as he watched the teens be dragged into the ship. A guard reached for a control pad, obviously intending to shut the door before the Jedi could board the ship.

_No!_ Qui-Gon was not about to lose Obi-Wan again. He had a feeling that if the Ylesian criminals escaped, he'd never see his apprentice again. He called on the Force to speed him, running with everything he had.

It was close. The ramp was going up. Zara's final desperate cry echoed out of the ship's hull as Qui-Gon raced up. The lightsabre in his hand snapped to life, cutting a gouge in the wall of the hull, piercing the metal all the way through. The green blade continued on, slicing through the door's hydraulic system as though it weren't there. The ramp whirred in protest before falling open again, allowing Qui-Gon to jump aboard the spacecraft.

But the ship was still moving away from the entrance of the tunnel. Cin and Mace had been too far back to reach the ship in time, and could only watch as their friend and fellow Master leaped through the air onto the ramp, intent on rescuing the captured apprentices.

Mace snatched his com out of his pouch. "Clee, get a ship around to the back of the mines, now!"

*************

Hope surged in Obi-Wan's chest as he watched his Master jump onto the ramp and swiftly climb into the hold. He managed a cry of joy, although it was muffled by the rag in his mouth.

"Master!" cried Zara, before glancing to the door to the cockpit and screaming "Look out!"

Perhaps a dozen of Gorig's guards were storming into the hold, blasters at the ready and firing at the tall, cloaked intruder. Lightsabre flashing, Qui-Gon started deflecting the bolts back to the guards.

A couple of particularly vengeful guards started aiming at the helpless teenagers on the floor by the wall. Zara yelped in alarm as a bolt hit the wall above her head, scorching the metal. Obi-Wan tried to roll on top of her to protect her, but with the wild movements of the ship, it wasn't easy. Evidently the pilot was doing everything in his power to throw Qui-Gon out of the ship, even at the risk of losing the prisoners. The Master stumbled slightly as the ship sailed through a tight corner before regaining his footing.

He was the only one who appeared to have been able to stay upright. Several of the guards were downed by the abrupt turn, temporarily joining their comrades that had been hit by returned blaster fire. Others had dropped their blasters in the curve and were now searching for them. Obi-Wan and Zara had both been thrown against the wall, Obi-Wan pinning his smaller friend to the floor. The boy had hit his head, and now dizzily tried to focus on the battle amidst the stars dancing across his vision. Zara appeared to be unconscious.

Seeing an opportunity, Qui-Gon quickly knelt beside the teens. His lightsabre flashed, slicing through the ropes that bound Obi-Wan's wrists together. A large hand quickly removed the rag from the teen's mouth. "Obi-Wan, are you all right?" The tall Master sounded worried.

Obi-Wan managed a shaky grin. "Better now, Mas- Behind you!" He'd seen some of the guards get to their feet and train their blasters on Qui-Gon's back.

The venerable Jedi whirled around, green laser deflecting the bolts. Flexing his wrists, Obi-Wan started picking at the knot tying Zara's arms together. However, whoever had tied Zara had known what he was doing; the knot didn't look like it would be coming undone anytime soon, and not by his weak fingers.

The whine of a second starship caught Obi-Wan's attention. Glancing out the open door, he could see a Republic-marked transport flying up to Gorig's ship. The top hatch was open, and there were two men standing on top. Obi-Wan tried to see who they were, but couldn't make out their features until the duo had come close enough to the Hutt's ship to leap on board. Two more lightsabres, one blue and one violet, hummed as they were ignited. _Master Drallig and Master Windu!_

He watched the new arrivals jump into the fray, lightsabres moving faster than the eye could see, deflecting any bolts that came their way. Obi-Wan relaxed slightly; they'd be fine now. He was almost certain of it.

Master Drallig stepped back from the fight, kneeling beside Obi-Wan and Zara. "Force, you two look horrible." His fingers probed at the most recently-acquired bump on Obi-Wan's head before reaching down to touch Zara. "How badly are you hurt?"

"I don't know, but we both hurt a lot." Obi-Wan scooted back, allowing Master Drallig to reach Zara. "How did you find us?"

"We'll explain later." Master Drallig carefully lifted Zara's limp frame with one arm. "I'll come back for you, Kenobi. Just hang on a couple of minutes. She's hurt a bit worse than you are."

Obi-Wan nodded. "But please hurry, Master." He looked worriedly at the battle.

Master Drallig nodded and leaped out of the ship, carefully holding Zara. Obi-Wan could only assume that the young Master had made it to the Jedi ship. He flinched as a stray bolt thudded into the wall above him, creating another mark in the metal.

More soldiers were coming. Obi-Wan saw rather than heard Master Windu yell something at Qui-Gon, who quickly nodded. The older Jedi tried to go to Obi-Wan, but had to aid Master Windu against the soldiers. Obi-Wan sighed; it didn't look like he'd be getting off the ship anytime soon.

He felt an impact on the floor, jostling him slightly, then he heard Master Drallig say, "Let's get you out of here, Obi-Wan." An arm was wrapped around Obi-Wan, placing unwanted pressure on the cracked and broken ribs. Obi-Wan forced himself to keep the cry of pain at bay, knowing Master Drallig was only trying to help him. However, the blond Master still sensed the teen's pain and hesitated for a brief moment, before lifting him with a bit more effort than he'd picked up his own Padawan. "Damn, you are definitely not the smallest Padawan in the Order."

Obi-Wan didn't answer. He was too focused on keeping the sudden nausea at bay. He suspected a collection of concussions was starting to catch up to him. Master Drallig seemed to sense the extent of the teen's injuries, and vehemently cursing under his breath, leaped out of the transport, landing with a thud on the roof of the Republic ship. The top hatch was still open, held back by a simple hooking mechanism. Master Drallig went straight for the hatch, easing Obi-Wan down first. "Can you get down?"

Breathing through gritted teeth, Obi-Wan gripped the rungs of the ladder leading down into the ship. "Yes."

"Good." Master Drallig crouched above the hatch, lightsabre out. "Go! I'll stay up here until you're down."

Not bothering to argue with the stubborn Battlemaster, Obi-Wan started his painful descent. He was surprised when he felt an arm not his own wrap around him about a third of the way down. Instinct ordered him to fight back until he heard a welcome voice snap, "Good grief, Obi! I'm trying to help here!"

"Garen?" Obi-Wan twisted to see his friend's cropped brown hair and dark brown eyes beside his own. "It is you!"

"Who else would it be? Master Yoda?" Garen tightened his grip on his friend. "We have to get you down! Clee's piloting and Zara's already on a sleep couch, but we gotta get the other Masters down here. Master Fisto and Knight Esniki are taking the other ship out of here." The teen started climbing down, helping his friend. "Who got you here?"

"Master Drallig." Obi-Wan clung to his friend's shoulder, grateful for the help even if his ribs were screaming in protest. "My Master and Master Windu are still on board that ship!"

Garen opened his mouth to answer, but paused at the sound of loud thuds from the roof that sounded like two fully-grown men landing on the ship. "I think they're fine, Obi. Let's get you down." He quickly got down the last few rungs, helping Obi-Wan the rest of the way. Once the rescued teen had his footing secure on the floor, Garen started pulling him toward a sleep couch.

Obi-Wan obediently followed his best friend, catching sight of Zara sleeping on another couch. But his thoughts were still with his Master. With the collar still on his neck, he had no way of knowing if Qui-Gon was hurt. And those thuds could just as easily have been Gorig's soldiers...

_Force, let Master be all right! Please..._

**************

Qui-Gon caught a glimpse of Cin jumping out of the ship, Obi-Wan secure in his grip. Knowing his Padawan was out of danger, he resumed fighting alongside Mace, taking down as many soldiers as they could.

They both knew it was a losing battle though. There were more soldiers than they could handle. Mace yelled to Qui-Gon, "Go! I'm right behind you!"

Still deflecting bolts, Qui-Gon jumped backwards out of the ship, using the Force to guide him to the Jedi craft. He sensed Mace beside him, freefalling through the thin atmosphere to the hull of the ship.

The soldiers swiftly converged around the broken door, firing still at the Masters. Qui-Gon and Mace returned the bolts to their attackers even as they fell.

Qui-Gon grunted as his boots hit the roof of the ship. He started moving backwards to the hatch, sensing Mace moving as well, still defending himself against the bolts. Cin was still topside, although he was balancing on the top rung of the ladder, ready to climb down at a moment's notice.

The ship suddenly ducked underneath the Hutt's ship, away from the blaster fire. Qui-Gon silently thanked Clee for the skillful manoeuvre as he turned to the hatch, gesturing at Cin. "Down!"

Cin obediently ducked down the hatch, clambering down the ladder. Qui-Gon followed him, sliding down the side of the ladder for added speed. Above him, Mace unhooked the hatch cover and swung it over, sealing the hatch behind him. The dark-skinned Master looked down at Cin, who had already slid to the bottom. "Tell Clee to throw her shields up as high as she can get them and then get off-planet! And tell her to tell Kit and Aerdna that if they haven't left yet with Dorlea, they better leave now!" Then he caught sight of Garen, who was hurrying up to the ladder. "Actually, Garen, you tell your Master that."

Garen nodded and raced off towards the cockpit, as Qui-Gon and Cin hurried to the room where they knew their Padawans had been placed. Qui-Gon beat Cin to the door by a fraction, his eyes anxiously casting about for his apprentice. "Obi-Wan?"

"Master!" Obi-Wan sat up on the sleep couch that he'd been resting on, joy in his face. "You're not hurt!"

Forsaking the normal stoic Jedi mask, Qui-Gon ran to Obi-Wan's side, holding the teen close. "Force, Padawan... I thought I'd lost you..." He started fiddling with the Force-inhibiting collar on the teen's neck, dropping it on the floor as soon as he'd freed Obi-Wan from the device. He sighed in relief and hugged Obi-Wan again as the Force swelled between them, sharing their joy.

Obi-Wan hugged his Master back just as tightly. "I thought you were dead, Master. When you and Master Drallig got shot back at that station, I thought... And then just now, with that grenade and-"

"Shh." Qui-Gon soothingly rubbed Obi-Wan's back. "Everyone's fine, Padawan. Not even Master Fisto is hurt too badly. He'll hurt for a couple of days, but he'll be fine. And Master Drallig and I are both alive and well, as you can see." He tried to crack a grin, but the effect was spoiled by the tears pooling in his eyes.

Obi-Wan smiled. "I'm glad of that, Master." He rested his head on his Master's shoulder, relaxing for a brief moment, until Qui-Gon squeezed him just a bit too hard on a particularly sore rib. "Ow!"

Qui-Gon went tense. "How badly hurt are you, Padawan?" Without waiting for an answer, he carefully removed the teen's tunic, hissing as he saw the bruises and lacerations marring the pale flesh. "Good Force, Obi-Wan!"

"Hutts punch hard," groaned Obi-Wan as his Master's gentle fingers prodded at the injuries. "Really hard."

"I could have told you that without you having to find out first-hand, Padawan." Qui-Gon sighed and pushed his apprentice back down on the couch. "Stay put, I'll get the first aid supplies." The tall Master stiffly rose and started rooting around in the ship's supplies for bacta patches, casting the occasional worried glance Obi-Wan's way.

The teen rested on the pillow, watching Master Drallig take care of a slowly-awakening Zara. For the first time in over a week, he actually felt safe. He let his eyes drift closed, the stress of his imprisonment catching up to him.

He felt the ship lurch slightly, followed by the whine of the engines. A moment later, Garen returned to the room with a triumphant, "We are in hyperspace, en route to Coruscant!"

Obi-Wan grinned as he sensed Qui-Gon return to his side. He flinched slightly at the sting of the bacta on the wounds, but was too drained to really notice the pain. The last thing he was aware of was Qui-Gon lightly kissing his brow and sending a wave of love and comfort along their bond before sleep claimed him.

***************

It didn't take Cin long to get the collar off of Zara's neck when he got to her side. He dropped the device like a hot iron on the floor beside him and started examining his Padawan for other injuries that he'd missed while carrying her off the Hutt's ship. Carefully lifting her tunic, he gasped at the injuries that she'd sustained. "Force, Padawan... What happened to you?"

Knowing he wouldn't get an answer from the unconscious girl, he got up, grabbing some medical supplies from the ship's store before returning to Zara's side, tending as many of the wounds as he could. He was about halfway finished when she groaned, starting to stir.

He reached up and touched her face. "Zara? Padawan, can you hear me?"

The girl's green eyes flickered open, taking in the sight in front of her. "Master?" she whispered, joy lighting her eyes. "You're... you're alive!"

That did it for Cin. He bent down and gathered Zara to his chest, cuddling her close. "Force dammit, Zara, I thought I was going to lose you!"

He felt Zara wrap her arms around his neck. "I thought you were dead! You... you got shot, and then..."

Cin pulled Zara into his lap, cuddling her. "Ah, it'll take more than a blaster shot to kill me, Padawan. You were the one I was worried about!"

Zara buried her face in his neck, trying to restrain sobs of joy and lingering stress. "I knew you'd find me, Master. I just knew it!"

Cin smiled into the girl's hair. "I"ll always come for you, Padawan. Promise."

He felt Zara's grip on his neck eventually loosen. Gently, he laid the girl back down on the couch. "I just have to finish fixing these up. We're heading back to Coruscant right now, so you're safe. That Hutt will never be able to hurt you again."

Zara smiled, her eyes closing. "That's good. And you'd never let him near me again, hmm?"

"Darn right." Cin quickly finished placing bacta and bandages on the wounds. "I'd never let him come close to even seeing you, much less hurt you." His task completed, he brushed a hand through the girl's red hair, planting a kiss on her forehead. "You're exhausted, Padawan. You need to sleep."

Zara caught his fingers in her hand as he rose to put away the remaining medical supplies. "Don't leave me, Master. Stay, please?"

Cin thought for a brief moment, glancing over at Qui-Gon. He nearly laughed when he saw the older man had sunk onto Obi-Wan's couch, an arm drapped over the sleeping teen's body. But... that did look comfortable...

Deciding that the supplies could wait to be put away, Cin carefully settled himself on the couch with his back against the wall, letting Zara pillow her head on his chest. The girl knotted her hands in his tunic, resting her head on his heart.

"Thank you, Master." Zara already sounded half asleep.

"Anytime, Zara." Cin wrapped an arm snuggly around Zara, cuddling her close to his chest. As the girl drifted to sleep, he murmured through their bond, _I love you so much, Padawan._

_Love you too, Master_ was the sleepy reply from the dozing teen in front of him. With a grin on his lips, Cin rested his head on the pillow, joining Zara in slumber.

It bothered Cin that the other Hutt had escaped, but there was nothing he could do about that. Zara needed him more. In a few years perhaps, he would need to bring down another crime ring masterminded by this particular family of Hutts. But for now, he was content to rest here with his precious apprentice and know that she and Obi-Wan were both safe now.

***************

**Writing... at 2 AM... not the best idea in the world. *sighs* Hopefully you guys enjoyed this one though! And if you have any specific one-shots you'd like me to do, tell me, either in a review or a PM.**

**Thank ye for reading! Please review! **

**Xaja**


	8. Reunion

**DISCLAIMER: *glomps Maedhros and takes the Ring* Ha ha! Finally! I have my One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges, and own EVERYTHING! Even your souls! Mwahahaha- *is smacked upside the head by Spock, who runs off with the Ring* Argh!**

**Many, many apologies about the delay in posting! I blame college exams and trying (and failing) to find a summer job! *sighs* Maybe I should just sell my soul to my college to pay off my tuition... For those of you who are wondering when the heck 'Castaway' is going to be updated... I have no idea. It depends on the muse, which is currently living in my sketchpad and demanding that I draw my original fiction characters. Meh.**

**Ren Ankh: Yes, indeed. But I'm a sucker for fluffiness, as I think you can tell, haha! YES, I loved that scene! Well, I just loved the entire movie! My best insults come from there! Aww, that's cute. All we get on our acreage is mice and gophers and pigeons. *sighs* Yes, we should tell the FFN Admins that, so they can fix it. *nods* No, I haven't heard that song before, although I think I'll have to check it out. Thanks for the recommendation!**

**XSXSXSXSXSX**

"Are you sure this is such a good idea, Master?"

"Yes, Padawan. This will be a good experience for you."

"I know... But..."

"But what?"

"I'm... I'm nervous. What if they don't like me, Master?" Zara looked up at her tall Master from her seat in the speeder, worry clouding her green eyes.

Cin's face was the perfect picture of Jedi calm. "I'm sure Dorlea has told them of your bravery in the mines. I'm sure they'd respect you, if not outright idolize you." He gently turned his Padawan to face away from him, soothingly rubbing the tense muscles in her neck and shoulders with one hand as he steered with the other. "Relax, Zara. Your mother wanted you to meet the rest of your family now that you've been reunited."

Zara nodded, leaning into his touch. "I know, and I'm glad I found Dorl- Mom, even if how we met wasn't the best of stories. But what about Father and my siblings? Mom said I have three brothers and a sister, and two of the brothers are older than me!"

"And I'm sure your mother has told your younger brother and sister all about you and how you did your family proud by becoming a Jedi." Cin lightly squeezed the teen girl's shoulder. "There's nothing to be worried about, Zara. They'd be fools to dislike you."

"Thanks, Master." Zara turned back to face Cin as the Master drove the speeder to the address scribbled on a sheet of flimsy. They were in a nice residential area of Coruscant, about mid-level. The buildings were nice without being overly extravagant, and there was even a small nature park nearby, a rarity on the city planet. Zara's family had done well for themselves.

Dorlea Taerich had never gone into too much detail over how she ended up on Ylesia in a spice mine, a captive of the Huttese crime lord Korra. But what Zara did know was that Dorlea had been in a Coruscanti spaceport, preparing to fly to her home planet of Lavisar, and the next she had woken up on a slaving vessel bound for Ylesia. Her family had searched for any word of her for four years without result until the day a Jedi Knight had returned the bedraggled, emaciated Dorlea to her home, with word of her elder daughter in Jedi care.

Zara's father, Klion Taerich, was a security officer for the Senate, who specifically guarded the Lavisarian Senator. Before her abduction, Dorlea had been a public relations worker for the Senator. Zara hadn't been able to dig up much information on her brothers and sister though. It was those members of her family that she worried the most about. _What if they don't like me? Are they some of the people that dislike Jedi? Do they even look like me?_

Zara was brought out of her musings by the sensation of the speeder coming to a gentle stop in front of a nice apartment building perhaps a half-hour's flight away from the Temple. The soft grey structure rose above the street below, with windows adorning almost the entire exterior. Zara noticed that quite a few of the balconies had small gardens, bringing a bit of life and natural colour to Coruscant.

Cin caught her hand in his as he set the parking brake. "Are you still nervous?"

Still looking apprehensively at the building in front of her, Zara nodded.

Cin gave her hand a squeeze. "It'll be all right, Padawan. Promise."

Zara nodded and sighed, before a question came to mind. "Master? Did you ever know who your family was?"

There was a brief silence in the speeder as Cin gazed contemplatively at his lap. "No," he finally answered, "I never did. I was found in an orphanage. I only had a flimsy tucked into my blanket with my name on it when the orphanage workers found me. They were more than willing to hand me off to the first Jedi who arrived at the planet." He shrugged and turned back to his Padawan. "I'm glad you're having an opportunity to meet your family, one I'll probably never get."

Zara returned the squeeze on her hand. "I'm sorry, Master. I didn't know-"

"Because I'd never mentioned it." Cin tucked a lock of the girl's red hair behind her ear. "But I never really missed my family, if they even live. You've become the family I always wanted."

"Really?" Zara looked at Cin, surprised. Her eyes smiled as she reached over and hugged Cin around the waist. "I'm... I'm honoured, Master."

She felt Cin chuckle as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "No, Padawan. I'm the one who's lucky to have you." He dropped a kiss on her forehead. "And so is your biological family, Zara. We shouldn't keep them waiting."

"Right..." Zara looked up at the apartment complex again before seizing Cin's hand. "Can you come with me, Master?"

Cin hesitated before giving in. "I'll walk you to the door, Padawan. I wouldn't want to intrude on your reunion with your family." He stepped out of the speeder before turning to assist his apprentice out. "Don't worry, Zara. Everything will be fine."

"Yes, Master," answered Zara. If she didn't know better, she would have suspected that Cin was worried over losing his Padawan to her biological family and trying to reassure himself more than the teenager that nothing would go wrong. "What floor do they live on again?"

"The thirty-sixth," answered Cin, glancing at the flimsy before it disappeared into his belt pouch. "Thank the Force for turbolifts."

_Fifteen minutes later..._

"This is it, Padawan." Cin came to a halt in front of a nondescript door in the hallway. "Your family's right through there."

Zara took a deep breath to calm her nerves, trying to release her anxiety to the Force. She could just hear the sounds of activity going on through the door. _The sounds of a normal, Force-blessed family life._

She reached up to touch the door-chime, but froze, worry preventing her from moving. She was aware of Cin's hand on her back, reassuring her he was still there. "Everything will be fine. I'm right behind you, Padawan."

With a deep, shaky breath, Zara nodded and touched the door-chime.

There was a sound of hurrying footsteps approaching the door before it slid open, allowing Dorlea Taerich to catch Zara in a tight embrace. "Ah, you found it! I was getting worried you wouldn't come!" She pulled back from Zara, examining her with a mother's eye before hugging her again. "You look so much better than the last time I saw you..."

Zara grinned and hugged her mother back. "I wouldn't miss this for anything, Mom." She looked up at the sound of another pair of footsteps approaching and instinctively backed up a step as a stocky, broad-shouldered man appeared behind Dorlea. He had twinkling blue eyes underneath his short-cropped light brown hair and a light tan to his skin that accentuated the taut muscles under his tunic.

"Zara." The man smiled gently. "You probably don't recognize your father at all." He held a hand out to Zara, belying the strength hidden under his grip with surprising gentleness. "But I'd know you anywhere. I was the one who carried you to the Temple fourteen years ago."

Zara looked up at the man, a smile on her lips. "Daddy?"

Klion Taerich pulled Zara close, lightly hugging her. "Yes. Come meet your brothers and sister. The older two barely remember you..." He continued talking as he drew Zara into the apartment, introducing her to the older teenage boys, the pre-adolescent girl and the youngest boy sitting in the kitchen. The boys looked a fair sight more like their father, while the girl was a miniature of Dorlea. But all five siblings shared the same bright red hair in varying styles.

Cin watched the reunion for a moment until he saw the eldest of Zara's brothers tightly hug her. Reassured that she would be in good hands until he came back for her, he turned away and started walking away, trying to ignore the slight tightness in the back of his throat until he heard the indignant, "And where do you think you're going?"

The tall Jedi turned back to face Dorlea, who stood just inside the hallway, hands on her hips. "I wouldn't want to intrude, Dorlea. You are Zara's family and she should be permitted to meet you without me watching over her shoulder."

"Zara's family, yes. But you're the man who's raised her for the last several years. She thinks the world of you!" Dorlea crossed her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow at Cin, daring him to refuse. "You may not be related to us by blood, but you're as much family to us as Zara is."

Not even Cin's Jedi discipline could suppress the pleased flutter in his chest. "I'm... I'm honoured." He walked back to the apartment, welcoming Dorlea's gentle hand on his shoulder.

"No, Master Cin." Dorlea smiled up at Cin as she led him back inside. "We're the ones who are honoured to have such a fine Jedi taking care of our daughter. We're more than happy to call your family."

Cin smiled as he stood inside the apartment, watching Zara be reunited with her father and siblings. _My family too._ "I wouldn't want a better family than this."

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**I know it's another Cin-Zara centric story, but the plot bunny bit and won't let go. *sighs* If you want more Obi-Qui stories, or any others, tell me. I'm starting to *gasp!* run out of ideas here!**

**Oh yes, and there's a new poll on my profile. Check it out.**

**Don't forget to review! Thanks, guys!**

**Xaja**


	9. Dark Despair

**DISCLAIMER: *snatches the Ring back from Spock* Mwahahaha! My One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges is MINE, all MINE! YES! *Scotty beams the Ring out of Xaja's hand* HEY!**

**Scotty owns Star Wars. I don't. Dammit.**

**I know you guys want for it to be an update for 'Castaway', but the muse is currently silent on that story. However, I have two bunnies for NLM, both inspired by BlackDeath6. Thank you! (Second one shall be posted later today.)**

**Ren Ankh: I love emotionally torturing Cin, can you guess? (I fangirl him, I'm allowed to!) I agree with you on the concept of biological family to a Jedi- I don't think I'd want to be a Jedi if it meant I couldn't have a family. (Although, the lightsabres are really cool... *ponders*)**

**This one is actually *gasp!* Obi-Wan-centric. Most definitely a T. Dark subject matter. Consider yourselves warned.**

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It hurt so bad. He could pretend everything was fine around his friends, but when he was alone... It all came crashing down.

Every morning, he would force his eyes open, wondering the same thing as he had the previous dawn. _Why would the Force permit that to happen? Why am I still suffering for it? What does it matter anymore?_ He wanted the lingering pain, both in his body and in his spirit, to leave, but his silent pleas to the Force went unheeded.

He would force himself through the ordinary, mundane actions of life- he'd shower, eat breakfast, attempt to meditate, and sit through class before pushing himself through intense physiotherapy to regain his lost mobility in his left arm. And all throughout the day, he'd ask himself if it was really worth it. As he gritted his teeth in therapy, he pondered, _Was this the plan the Force had for my life- to put me through hell and make me suffer for it the rest of my life? What the Sith did I do to deserve this?_

It was moments like that when he cursed the existence of the Force. _The Masters say that the Force is benevolent and kind. Huh, right. If it was really as the Masters say, this would never have happened. Zara and I would never have been captured or hurt and that spice mine would never have existed and Nar Shaddaa would be a safe place and there would be no suffering in the galaxy anywhere._

More than once, he thought about asking Qui-Gon for help. But... no. Qui-Gon must never know of this. _I am to be his 'Perfect Padawan', and a perfect Padawan doesn't admit to their Master that they doubt the Light Side of the Force. No- I can't let him down._

And so he continued on in his daily struggle, using every ounce of strength in his body to maintain the mask he wore around everyone else. He couldn't let anyone know of his pain and anger directed at the Force. He went through the motions of every day numbly, shutting down his emotions. He never noticed Qui-Gon's anxious glances in his direction, or the way his friends acted around him, trying to get him to open up. He never even noticed Master Yoda's concerned frowns in his direction.

All he felt was anger at the Force. And he felt the Force's darkness in response.

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**Yes, I know Obi-Wan is slightly OOC in this. No, I do not care. Yes, I would like reviews for this.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xaja**


	10. Dead Inside

**DISCLAIMER: *somehow gets onto the Enterprise and mobs Scotty, only to find out he doesn't have the Ring* What the- *sees Chekov run past with the Ring* NO! My One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges! GIMME! *chases***

**I own not. Darn you, Chekov! **

**Right. This one's Zara-centric. This chapter in particular would probably be an 'M'-rating for content. It's rather dark, dealing with rape and attempts at suicide. Be warned. I give you full permission to skip this chapter if you are uncomfortable with that particular subject matter.**

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She'd lied to him in the healer's ward and she knew it. But he couldn't know. He worried about her enough without him knowing about her deepest shame.

Zara huddled on the floor beside her sleep couch, pressing her slender frame against the mattress in an attempt to stop her shaking. It was all she could do to stifle the sob in her throat at what she was about to do. Her lightsabre trembled in her clammy hand, threatening to slip out of her grip.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to calm herself. But against the blackness of her eyelids, she was assailed by memories of pain and shame... the soldiers coming into her cell... hands, pinning her down and moving what was left of her clothing out of the way... the numerous, painful invasions in her body... her pitiful cries drowned out by their laughter... so many times they hurt her until they finally tired of her and left her to curl up in a ball and cry herself to sleep... until the second time they came...

Her eyes snapped open. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to quell both her sobs and the phantom pains she felt between her legs. Zara pressed a hand against her mouth, trying to keep her cries muffled. If Cin heard her and came to investigate, all hell would break loose. She suspected he was already wary of something having happened- her jumpiness when most men touched her at all, the dark circles under her eyes that attested to many nights spent awake for fear of the nightmares that would haunt her...

She forced herself to take some deep breaths before looking around, making sure she was ready. Her sleep couch was neatly made up and her room was clean- one less thing for Cin to worry about. A note, written on a piece of flimsy, rested on her pillow, explaining everything. Zara didn't want Cin to think that this was his fault. There was nothing he could have done, and there was nothing he could do now.

Wiping her sweaty hand on the leg of her pants, she gripped her lightsabre tighter, pressing the hilt against her chest, where she knew her heart was. She drew a shaky breath, steadying herself.

This was for the best. Cin would never have to worry about a shamed, worthless, dirty apprentice again. He would be able to get on with his life without her, and she would be released from her suffering. Praying to the Force to accept one broken, stained soul, she moved her finger to the ignition switch on her lightsabre.

A gasp of horror sounded from the door. Pounding footsteps rushing toward her. A large hand knocked the lightsabre out of Zara's grip, sending the weapon flying under the sleep couch. Zara nearly fell forward from the impact of her Master running into her room until she felt Cin's arms wrap around her, pulling her close to his chest. The tall Master rocked her back and forth, holding her as tightly as he could and whispering into her hair. "No... Force, no, not you! It can't be..."

Zara rested her head against his heart, bitterly disappointed with herself. Now Cin would have to put up with her until she could find another opportunity to-

"What the-" One arm left Zara's shoulders and stretched out. From the corner of her eye, Zara saw the hand pick up the note on her pillow and bring it closer to Cin's face. She lowered her head, knowing she would have to face her shame now.

"Oh, Force..." The flimsy fluttered to the ground as Cin's hands gripped Zara's head, pulling her away to look him in the eyes. Zara was struck by the sheer agony in her Master's face and nearly cried when she saw the unshed tears in his eyes. "Why didn't you say anything, Padawan? You never had to go through this alone!"

Zara's eyes dropped to study the carpet on which the two of them sat. "I... You... It hurts so much, Master, and I can't make it stop! And no one wants a worthless, dirty apprentice like me- you don't deserve to be stuck with a whore like-" A sob forced itself out of her throat, choking her words. But she'd said what she needed to. She closed her eyes, unable to face her Master anymore. What would he want with such a broken, shamed person, anyway?

"Zara, look at me."

She reluctantly looked back into Cin's eyes. The tall Master gripped her head tighter, forcing her to keep her gaze up. "Listen to me: You. Are. Not. Worthless. You mean more to me than anything else in the galaxy! You are not the whore that you think you are. You are special. You are valuable. You are loved. Even if you don't believe anything else I say, believe me when I say there are hundreds of people who would suffer more if you killed yourself than if you told them you were hurting." He pulled Zara close to his chest again, running his fingers through her hair and continuously murmuring to her. "There are so many who love you, Zara. I love you so much, Padawan, more than you could imagine. You are not worthless or dirty or broken beyond repair."

Any semblance of a fight drained out of Zara with Cin's words. Burying her face in his tunic, she finally gave into the sobs that had tormented her all day. She felt Cin rest his head on her hair, still whispering to her. "No matter what, I still love you, Zara. I want to help you get through this, but you have to let me know when you're hurting..." His own words disappeared as he started crying as well, dampening her hair with his tears. "Force... don't ever do that again, Padawan. Promise me you won't at least give me a chance to help you, please..."

Drawing a shuddery breath into her lungs, Zara managed a shaky nod in response to her Master's plea. She tried to force her tears to quit flowing, but it seemed as though they redoubled on her, racing down her face and onto Cin's tunic. Pressing her face into his chest again, she gripped two handfuls of his tunic in her fists and clung to him like a lifeline. Another sob broke out of her throat as her tears flowed, taking the stress and shame and pain of the last few weeks with them.

She felt Cin shift his weight into a slightly more comfortable kneeling position, pulling her small body along with him. She could feel his tears soaking her hair as he moved his head, kissing her cheek. "Everything's going to be all right, Padawan. I'm going to be beside you every step of the way, promise. I love you and I want you to recover from this, and I want to help you." He pulled away from her, kissing her forehead. "I'm going to help you as much as I can, Zara. Promise." He reached a hand up to wipe at the tear stains on his face before resting his hand on her shoulder again. "But you have to promise to tell me when you need me, all right? And for the love of the Force, don't ever scare me like that again, please!"

Zara nodded, trying to blink away the tears in her own eyes. "Promise, Master." She sniffled, pressing her face against his chest again. "I- I don't wanna die, Master... I'm scared and it hurts so bad and I want it to go away..."

"I know... I know..." Cin leaned back against the sleep couch, cuddling Zara on his lap. He pressed his lips against her forehead before murmuring to her again. "I'm going to be right here with you as long as you need me, Zara. Promise." He dropped another kiss in her hair as her sobs started again. "Don't be ashamed, Padawan. Let it all out... don't try to hold it in..."

And Zara released as much of her inner agony as she could into Cin's tunic, along with her tears, until she cried herself to sleep.

When she woke up several hours later, she realized she was no longer in her room. She was in the common area of the apartment, on one of the sofas, pressed up against Cin's chest and crying in terror from another nightmare. She was conscious of Cin rubbing her back and whispering that everything was all right, that nothing could hurt her while he was near. "I'm here to help you, Zara. I'm going to protect you. Nothing's going to harm you, Padawan. Shh... shh..."

Trusting that Cin was taking care of her, Zara let herself relax against his chest again, too physically and emotionally exhausted to stay awake, despite any lingering fear. Besides, Cin was here, he was helping her, and he said he still thought she was worth something...

"Worth something?" Cin pressed his lips against her temple. "How about 'I'd die for you', Padawan? Don't you think that means you're worth more than just something?"

Too tired to care that her shields had crumbled, Zara looked up at Cin. "Really, Master?"

"In a heartbeat, if that's what was needed to help you, Zara."

Cin probably wasn't expecting Zara to hug him as tightly as she could and desperately beg, "Don't ever die, Master. I'm always going to need you!"

"Shh..." Cin cuddled her close to his heart, kissing her forehead again. "I'll always be here to help you, Zara. Promise. Go to sleep, little one."

Zara didn't even manage to mumble "Yes, Master," before her exhausted body shut down, demanding sleep. But in her dreams, she still sensed her Master standing guard over her, protecting her while he pulled her out of the quagmire that her two-week excursion into the hells of Ylesia and Nar Shaddaa had pulled her into. _I'm still here, Zara. And I'll always be here for you, promise._

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**Meh. That ending looked better in my head...**

**In any case, please review! You know you want too... *wink wink nudge nudge***

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xaja**


	11. Fault

**DISCLAIMER: *tackles Chekov* Ha! Finally! My One Ring of Unlimited Copyright Privileges! It's MINE! Mine, precious-! *is Force-shoved into the wall by Obi-Wan, who then runs off with the Ring* OI!**

**Obi-Wan owns. I do not.**

**This is one instance where you can thank my professors- the muse came for this from a paper analyzing one of my fanart pieces (available on deviantART!). And, sadly, I fear this might be the last one-shot for this, unless I think of something later- I'm out of ideas! (And no, the muse is STILL refusing to give me anything for Castaway. Dammit...)**

**This could be an alternate reaction to the events in the last chapter, or it could be completely separate. I'll let you make your own call.**

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It was their fault. They should have come sooner. The Hutt was right- the Jedi aren't worthy 'guardians' of the Republic. It's their fault I got hurt.

He should have reacted sooner. If he'd done more, I would've been saved. Then, perhaps, I wouldn't have turned out like this.

I wonder what the Jedi are doing, now that I've left. My former Master? Heh. If he'd cared about me, he would have rescued me sooner. My friends? They still hold to the teachings that the Council is forcing down their throats. Fools.

Maybe Obi-Wan was wrong. Maybe he should have just accepted the Hutt's offer.

But no matter. Now I'm not tied to anything. No one in the Temple knows where I am, not even my old Master- I've blocked him off. I didn't tell anyone else I was leaving. No one would have cared. I don't even think any of them suspected this. All they have left of me is my empty room and my lightsabre. I won't carry a Jedi weapon.

I'll make one better. I'm making one better. I learned enough from my old Master- I can live on my own.

I ignite my new weapon to test the blade. The crystals I found were red- but I don't care. I've thrown off everything that the Jedi have taught me- what better way to utterly reject the Jedi than by embracing the very teachings they forbid?

The Sith holocrons were inaccessible to Padawans. But I don't need a holocron. The Force will teach me.

I admire my new lightsabre blade before eyeing the polished transparisteel that serves me as a mirror. My attire has been exchanged for a black tunic and pants, although I still have my old Jedi robe- to disguise me? To hold a little bit of attachment to my past? Because I'm too broke to get a new robe? I cannot pick out one set answer. I shrug my shoulders- it does not matter.

I admire my reflection for a moment before deactivating my lightsabre. I can still see my eyes in the dim light, though- they glow, with a yellow light. I know that if anyone who knew me as a Jedi saw me, they would be most upset with me- not that I care. My weapon returns to its proper place on my belt as I tug my hood over my head and cross my arms in front of myself.

A burst of pain through the Force makes me flinch, despite myself. Despite blocking my former Master so that he cannot find me, I can still sense him- perhaps even more, thanks to the power I have but recently embraced. He is crying through the Force for me, still searching for me. I can hear his voice in my head. _Zara! Padawan, where are you?_

For a brief moment, I want to return to the Jedi way of life. I want to destroy the new lightsabre on my belt, pull my Jedi tunics out of the trash compactor where I have stashed them, and run back to Master Cin's arms. I want to return to the Temple, confess everything to Master Cin and Master Yoda, and beg them to take me back. My muscles tremble with the effort of remaining still. I look into the mirror, watching as my eyes fade back to their natural green before my vision blurs with unshed tears.

I cannot go back. I have chosen.

Abruptly, I shake my head, as though to banish my former Master from my thoughts. Setting my jaw, I blink away the tears before they can fall. I will not show weakness now- not when I need to be strong. I will be stronger than any other Jedi alive, even Yoda. I'll show them all- I don't need them. I will be powerful without them. I don't need the Jedi, or their outdated, stuffy traditions.

I turn away from my mirror and head out to face the world. The Force whispers guidance to me, teaching me in the ways of power, as well as warning me away from those who would seek to stifle my ability.

I will be strong. But my thoughts still stray to the blocked-off bond in my mind, and I wonder if it is worth it.

Not like I get a second option now. I have made my choice.

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**Wow. That might have been the darkest thing I've written in a while.**

**Anyway... If you have anything else you'd desperately love to see in here, leave me a review or PM me- but as it stands, I'm calling this collection of one-shots done.**

**And I promise, I'll work on the Castaway muse as soon as I can!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xaja**


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